For everyone who thought I was exaggerating.

Allow me to present, without any further ado, my back yard... in all its pristine glory.

In the first view you're looking in from the easement that runs behind my yard. You'll note the attractive discoloured bricks, the creepy boarded-up window which houses the dryer vent, the "deck" made of not-so-reclaimed shipping pallets and the rusted metal staircase which would have, if not for the giant tree sitting three feet from my foundation, made its escape from the walls.

The more observant of you may also have noted the complete absence of greenery other than the giant tree; the top of the tooth pick fence; the blue plastic tarp covering the 2 tonne antique cast-iron kitchen sink I made RW move from my previous house where the neighbours had chosen to rid themselves of it and; the oddly-good hibachi I got for free when its hippy owner found out she couldn't mail it back to BC.

This second picture offers you a detail shot of the right corner of the back yard looking onto the easement with the lovely toothpick fence lined with what appears to be recycled particle board from some long-deceased Ikea furniture.

Lastly, a close-up of the focal point of the garden, the heavily rusting 50 year old military-issue metal staircase embedded in the giant tree someone decided to plant three feet from the foundation. Thankfully the tree gods must be smiling on me (and will hopefully continue to do so for the next 4 years until I can flip this place) and it hasn't breached the foundation or caused any leaking.

I'm thinking it's so bad that maybe I can set up some special fund for it like they do for abused pets that need expensive veterinary care. People can send donations and I'll post pictures of it as it recovers from the apparent horrors that were unleashed upon it before I took ownership (not that the whippet pee is helping the place any but whatever - actually it's so gross I don't even like letting them out there). Everyone loves dramatic before-and-after pictures right?

No, seriously, all offers of financial or carpentry/landscaping assistance are much appreciated. I'll even name my next whippet after you.

The birthday haul.

This weekend was my birthday and as always I was totally amazed by the wonderful gifts I got:

• My brother G got me a gorgeous classy "bible" of cocktails which incorporates excellent historical notes about such bevies as the Classic Gin Martini aka the ONLY REAL martini.


• My mom got me 3 beautiful genuine glass Japanese fishing floats. I've always dreamed of finding one washed up on the beach but that's become increasingly rare as they moved to yucky plastic like everyone else. Although, a while ago I heard a rumour that they were going back to glass so maybe I'll be able to add to my new collection in the future.


• My future father-in-law got me a lovely wooden-handled cheese slicer for all that Dutch leyden cheese he got me addicted to.


• My future wifey RW got me a stunning new dog crate as the final piece in our collection. It now houses the most adorable black and white monster whippet I have ever set eyes on - my birthday gift to myself. He's the perfect complement to my decor so pictures of him gracing the couches, chairs and beds will soon follow.


• Other family and friends sent me contributions to my new composter which I set up yesterday. Is it wrong to be this excited about decomposting foodstuffs?


• My brother HF decided to torture me with an amazing gardening book "Small Garden" by John Brooks which is filled with gorgeous pictures of small garden porn and tonnes of great information and ideas. It's killing me that I have to save my pennies so that next year RW and I can start to overhaul the nasty dirt pit that is my backyard.

On that note, a few inspirational wee yard pictures.

gardensforlife.
Jane Mooney Landscaping.

Domino Magazine. Leaside Landscaping.
Better Homes and Gardens.