Thursday, August 30, 2007

For everyone who thought I was exaggerating.

Allow me to present, without any further ado, my back yard... in all its pristine glory.

In the first view you're looking in from the easement that runs behind my yard. You'll note the attractive discoloured bricks, the creepy boarded-up window which houses the dryer vent, the "deck" made of not-so-reclaimed shipping pallets and the rusted metal staircase which would have, if not for the giant tree sitting three feet from my foundation, made its escape from the walls.

The more observant of you may also have noted the complete absence of greenery other than the giant tree; the top of the tooth pick fence; the blue plastic tarp covering the 2 tonne antique cast-iron kitchen sink I made RW move from my previous house where the neighbours had chosen to rid themselves of it and; the oddly-good hibachi I got for free when its hippy owner found out she couldn't mail it back to BC.

This second picture offers you a detail shot of the right corner of the back yard looking onto the easement with the lovely toothpick fence lined with what appears to be recycled particle board from some long-deceased Ikea furniture.

Lastly, a close-up of the focal point of the garden, the heavily rusting 50 year old military-issue metal staircase embedded in the giant tree someone decided to plant three feet from the foundation. Thankfully the tree gods must be smiling on me (and will hopefully continue to do so for the next 4 years until I can flip this place) and it hasn't breached the foundation or caused any leaking.

I'm thinking it's so bad that maybe I can set up some special fund for it like they do for abused pets that need expensive veterinary care. People can send donations and I'll post pictures of it as it recovers from the apparent horrors that were unleashed upon it before I took ownership (not that the whippet pee is helping the place any but whatever - actually it's so gross I don't even like letting them out there). Everyone loves dramatic before-and-after pictures right?

No, seriously, all offers of financial or carpentry/landscaping assistance are much appreciated. I'll even name my next whippet after you.